Overwhelmed, Overcompensating, and Over It: ADHD, Addiction, and Finding Balance

My ADHD and Addiction Journey and a Conversation with ADHD and Addiction Therapist Andrea Epting

When I first got sober, I thought my biggest challenge was dealing with the obsession to drink. And it was. But as anyone who's gone through recovery knows, the relief from one addiction doesn’t solve everything. I found myself facing a whole new set of challenges—BIG feelings, BIG self-judgments, and the persistent urge to prove my worth. That's when I began to truly understand how much my ADHD had been influencing my life, and how deeply it was connected to my addiction.

Let me back up a bit. Growing up with ADHD, I had no idea that the patterns I was experiencing were related to my brain and nervous system’s wiring. I could hyperfocus like nobody’s business. When I was interested in something, I was ALL IN. Take college, for example. I took a class on Beat Literature, and let me tell you, I dove in like I’d discovered the secret to life. I was reading Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, and anyone who had anything to do with them. I’d read everything—books, interviews, biographies—and then go visit (and drink in!) the places they’d been to feel what they felt. I was in it. And when I was in it, I was on fire.

But when the interest wasn’t there? Forget it. I couldn’t even show up. A class like Bible as Literature? I struggled just to get to class. And you know what happened next? Alcohol—long my good friend—became my solution. It was my way of numbing the shitty feelings that came with my inability to show up for things—whether it was school, myself, or the people I loved. I had no idea why I couldn’t just do what everyone else seemed to do. So, in a way, I kind of gave up trying.

Fast forward to when I got sober. I was no longer using alcohol to numb my feelings, but I still had to deal with those feelings—and with the deep-seated self-judgment that had been festering for years. Without alcohol, my ADHD didn’t just go away. If anything, it was amplified. I was left with the constant overwhelming noise in my head. I wanted to show everyone how great I was and how much I could accomplish. So, I’d overcompensate, pushing myself to prove my worth, all while battling rejection sensitivity and emotional overload.

It wasn’t until I started facing my ADHD more directly, with the help of therapy and coaching, that I realized what was really happening. ADHD isn’t just a “focus problem.” In fact, for me, that wasn’t really the problem at all. It’s most definitely a dysregulated nervous system. It’s about how our brains experience the world—constantly seeking stimulation, constantly feeling like we're running at full speed while trying to keep it together. This dysregulation can lead to intense emotional reactions, like rejection sensitivity. We’re not just wired to feel emotions deeply, we often feel them first, before we can even process them.

As addiction and ADHD therapist Andrea Epting and I discussed in a recent conversation on The Fully Mindful podcast:

"In women, the hyperactivity is still ADHD. There’s no such thing as ‘ADD.’ People like to say that, but the hyperactivity shows up more mentally and with anxiety... just feeling like you have a ton of tabs open, and then you kind of have that fear of forgetting things because there’s so much to do."

Spot on, right? The emotional dysregulation that Andrea talks about is exactly what I’ve felt for most of my life. And alcohol, of course, was my quick fix to numb the overwhelm.

ADHD and Addiction: The Co-Occurrence

What I didn’t realize until much later in my life was how intertwined ADHD and addiction often are. Studies show that individuals with ADHD are significantly more likely to struggle with addiction, with 25% of those diagnosed with ADHD also dealing with substance use disorders, which is two to three times higher than the general population. ADHD is often described as a condition that amplifies impulsivity, and this can lead to compulsive behaviors such as substance abuse, shopping, or even excessive work (not that I know anything about excessive work!).

The link between ADHD and addiction isn’t just about drugs or alcohol. It’s about the way our brains seek stimulation and relief from the chaos. For many, it’s about finding something—whether it’s a substance, behavior, or activity—that provides a sense of focus or relief. But, as I learned, this short-term relief often came at the expense of long-term well-being.

I think this is especially true for high-achieving professionals, such as women lawyers and other professionals who often find themselves struggling with ADHD and addiction behind the scenes. This dynamic impacts us all, whether you're a stay-at-home parent, a working professional, or someone managing multiple jobs or responsibilities. Neurodivergence and addiction don't discriminate based on what we do for a living.

Finding Myself through Embodied Coaching

Through the years of therapy, recovery, and self-reflection, I started to find tools that helped me manage my ADHD without numbing the pain. One of the most powerful tools for me has been embodied coaching—a blend of breathwork, mindfulness, and movement. I use these tools in my work with clients now, because I know how transformative they’ve been for me.

Embodied coaching is all about connecting the body and mind to better manage the overwhelming stimulation ADHD creates. Breathwork helps to calm the nervous system, movement (and other forms of breathwork) helps release pent-up energy, and mindfulness brings us into the present moment where we can focus and find clarity. For someone like me, who has a “busy brain,” this combination of practices has been a game-changer. It’s not about trying to control or eliminate ADHD, but about working with it, embodying presence, and learning to center myself in a world that often feels chaotic.

The Power of Community and Connection

One of the key takeaways from my conversation with Andrea was the power of community in the recovery process. For those of us with ADHD and addiction, connecting with others who understand our struggles is vital. As Andrea put it:

“The addiction is the opposite of connection. There is no connection in the disease of addiction, and that’s why community is so vital.”

The 12-step community provided me with that connection. It allowed me to share my story and feel understood. For the first time, I felt truly part of the same tribe. In 12-step, they talk about the importance of identification. And that truly is crucial. But for me, and many others, connection with others with whom I can identify with, well, that’s the real salve. I can walk into a room anywhere in the world and feel like I belong. For a person with ADHD and addiction that often tells me that I’m not enough or that I’m too much, that’s nothing short of a miracle.

Bringing It All Together

ADHD and addiction may feel like a lifelong uphill battle, but they don’t have to define who we are—or what we can accomplish. Understanding the ways ADHD shows up in our nervous system, recognizing the patterns of overcompensation, and connecting with our deep empathy and creativity can transform these challenges into strengths. As Andrea reminded me:

“You’re not broken. You’re wired differently. And that wiring gives you perspective, intuition, and the ability to see the big picture that others might miss.”

Through recovery, therapy, and embodied practices like breathwork, movement, and mindfulness, I’ve learned how to harness these strengths, instead of letting overwhelm and self-judgment run the show. I now show up more fully in my work, my relationships, and my life—without the need for external validation or numbing substances. True confession, though: I do have a tendency as a course and book junky. Like for real. Loads of books under the bed, and volumes of courses I’ve taken and those in the queue. But I’ll take that over a hangover and depressive anxiety any day of the week.

If you’re navigating ADHD, addiction, or the complex intersection of the two, know that you don’t have to do it alone. Tools, strategies, and communities exist to support you. Whether it’s exploring embodied coaching, connecting with supportive peers, or engaging in mindful recovery practices, there are ways to reclaim presence, focus, and well-being.

You can start small. You can start today. And if you want guidance in using mindfulness, breathwork, and embodiment tools to work with your ADHD, I’m here to support you. Reach out at info@thefullymindful.com, or book a free, no-strings-attached call through this Calendly link.

Your nervous system, your body, and your mind are waiting for your attention. It’s time to meet them where they are, and step into clarity, presence, and resilience.